I was watching the trailer for The Theory of Everything, a new biographical film on Stephen Hawking’s life and at the end of the trailer Stephen says “There is no limit to human endeavour. Where there is life there is hope”.
This quote felt really particularly resonant to me as one of those really powerful quotes about this whole idealistic notion of the human spirit and it’s resilience despite the many limitations and obstacles life throws at us. Afterwards I was reading more into Stephen’s life and there is such a big theme of optimism and this notion of living your life to the best of your ability, “to make the most of whatever gifts are given to us” and following an idealistic course in life. Whenever I read and come across ideas like this, I feel so compelled by the beauty of the vision humanity lives by. That despite “it’s sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world.” Then I went and proceeded to go foraging back to some of my old blogs I kept in high school and I found this excerpt from one of my old blogs: “I want to extinguish myself. To no longer be. No, please you mustn’t. Little light, brave the storm.” I have no idea where I found this quote...or perhaps I wrote it oh so long ago but I’ve always been drawn to this imagery of “braving the storm”. I think it’s interesting to keep a record, a blueprint if you will, of a mind as the years go by. To note the subtle changes that move slowly underneath the surface until one day, you look back and you realise you are a completely different person and the girl that wrote these words seems almost like a stranger. I recollect my high school years as being quite shelled up in my introversion. And very cautious. I held up a lot of repressed feelings inside me and as what Albert says to Victoria in one of my all-time favourite films The Young Victoria - “I know what it like to live alone, inside your head, while never giving a clue as to your real feelings” always struck a strong chord within me. Whenever I read my old writing, I always get this very keen impression of the perpetual depression that seems to overlay my high school years. But now I notice that I wasn’t so much depressed as much as I was always too hyper-aware of the fundamental existential crisis of the human condition. I know that sounds like a kind of pretentiously vebose way to put it but I think that it is a distinction that must be made. I also noticed I have been drawn to this idea of life being about “making at least a few poor life decisions” not just recently but for a while. I found this excerpt from more than four years ago now where I wrote that I wanted “to live life with reckless abandon. No regrets”. As I have written in previous posts, I think I have always been compelled to these notions of extremity.
Anyway, casting this totally nostalgic tangent aside, in terms of a life update - so much has happened since I wrote my last post, it's kind of crazy. But I've already decided I'm not going to bore you with the details dear Reader, for even I myself don't have the patience for it. But to surmise the gist of it, I feel like so much and so little has been going on at the same time, recently. I know that sounds entirely self-contradictory but you surely must be used to me by now forever contradicting myself in these perpetual musings. It is like I am living in two worlds where on one side I have been quite busy being a typical uni student and trying my best to balance the fine triangle of good grades, sleep and a social life and on the other side I feel as equally messed up as everyone is in this world and I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing with my life sometimes. I caught up with Luke and Josh the other day and I was describing my decision to study IT as something I have become completely accustomed to psychologically (via this interesting theory of humans being psychologically inclined to see decisions they make in hindsight as the best one they could have made and become accustomed/adapt to it) and Josh made the interesting comment that isn't that really demoralising that I perceive it this way as it reflects more on my lack of vision for doing this, per se haha. But I refuted this by saying that I also do firmly believe that I am heading in the right direction with my studies to my life objectives which is to A) Work in a field that I find compelling and B) Do my part and contribute something of essence to this world.
Also another noteworthy thing I should mention is that I have changed my mind quite comprehensively on my previous post and for future reference, I must do my best not to confuse the fine line between desire for companionship and actual sentimental affection. Anyway, I probably should get back to studying! Need to catch up on quite a few things this week.
Friday, August 15, 2014
Monday, June 16, 2014
June 16th: Distance makes the heart grow fonder
Time is such an intangible thing. Remembering, reminiscing through the blurry lens of time casts such a nostalgic filter over everything.
I miss Nik. I miss him so much. But I'm not sure if it's at all for the right reasons. After all, how do you know these things? It's probably not, I'm sure. Like it's not like I even knew him profoundly or anything. But yet, it seems at every moment, I am perpetually reminded of him and I find myself yearning for the familiarity that we had for a brief while in our own little infinity. I know, I'm a romanticist at heart. An idealist to the end. I can't even fathom the concept of meaningless or futility properly because I always optimistically...naively come back to the same presumption - everything that happens in this life is meant to happen. And if the world was a a spiral map of human lives and their fated paths all intertwined, mine was always meant to cross with his. And so our story began and ended. Or has it? I know I make it sound like this romantically epic tragedy but it's really not how it was at all. Because reality, for all it's deafening realness...is not like in movies or books; an amazing series of well-paced events that culminate into a climatic conclusion. No, there are no skip cuts or light cursory glimpses over through the redundant parts. Like Reinette says in The Girl in the Fireplace "There is a vessel in your world where the days of my life are pressed together like the chapters of a book, so that he may step from one to the other without increase of age while I, weary traveller, must always take the slower path." I've always found this quote particularly resonant because there's something compellingly definite about this whole notion of life, in all it's reality, as the "slower path". The path we weary travellers all must take because there are no shortcuts, no TARDISes, no time turners or magic to somehow skip all the boring parts, the slower parts, the redundancy and just experience the most exciting moments that seem to entirely define the human existence in movies and in books. Therefore, life must be lived, in all it's entirety, through the redundancy and the exciting moments...but to what end? As Hamlet once asked so poetically "What should such fellows as I do crawling between earth and heaven?". Perhaps I'm meant to make poor life decisions. Follow my heart. Find myself through all this meandering. The problem has always been my uncontainable curiosity.
Anyway, before I further trail off my point, no, what I had with Nik wasn't some kind of epic. Because it was better because it was real in all senses of the word. When I look back, those moments we had, we shared seem so utterly fleeting and ephemeral....like it wasn't even meant to last. And you know, it's strange because when I was with him, his arm around my waist and me leaning onto his chest, watching a movie or something...I have never wanted more badly for a moment to last forever. For us to exist, happy in that little infinity. But Time, the ever-surging river she is, never stops and once again, the moment's over and I'm alone and he's not here anymore.
I guess, suffice to say, I suffer from the most lame preoccupation: I'm really not over him. And so I miss him and more than periodically reminded of him all too often and it fills me with this deep kind of sadness that I feel like these feelings I had for him are so deeply entrenched that even I, in all my logical rationale - of how unsuited we were for each other - cannot climb out of. But yet all the same I know that these feelings are not particularly profound, I just mostly miss his familiarity the most, if anything.
I wish life were more simple. And I didn't contradict myself a thousand times a day....as I do.
Or even just decisions like "I'm going to move on" were met with instant resolution. But it's not because life is messy and it's complicated and feelings throw everything into disarray and I'm utterly confused again.
I miss him. I miss his soft brown hair. The familiar bridge of his nose. His eyes. His laugh.
And I can't help but wonder, what happened?
I miss Nik. I miss him so much. But I'm not sure if it's at all for the right reasons. After all, how do you know these things? It's probably not, I'm sure. Like it's not like I even knew him profoundly or anything. But yet, it seems at every moment, I am perpetually reminded of him and I find myself yearning for the familiarity that we had for a brief while in our own little infinity. I know, I'm a romanticist at heart. An idealist to the end. I can't even fathom the concept of meaningless or futility properly because I always optimistically...naively come back to the same presumption - everything that happens in this life is meant to happen. And if the world was a a spiral map of human lives and their fated paths all intertwined, mine was always meant to cross with his. And so our story began and ended. Or has it? I know I make it sound like this romantically epic tragedy but it's really not how it was at all. Because reality, for all it's deafening realness...is not like in movies or books; an amazing series of well-paced events that culminate into a climatic conclusion. No, there are no skip cuts or light cursory glimpses over through the redundant parts. Like Reinette says in The Girl in the Fireplace "There is a vessel in your world where the days of my life are pressed together like the chapters of a book, so that he may step from one to the other without increase of age while I, weary traveller, must always take the slower path." I've always found this quote particularly resonant because there's something compellingly definite about this whole notion of life, in all it's reality, as the "slower path". The path we weary travellers all must take because there are no shortcuts, no TARDISes, no time turners or magic to somehow skip all the boring parts, the slower parts, the redundancy and just experience the most exciting moments that seem to entirely define the human existence in movies and in books. Therefore, life must be lived, in all it's entirety, through the redundancy and the exciting moments...but to what end? As Hamlet once asked so poetically "What should such fellows as I do crawling between earth and heaven?". Perhaps I'm meant to make poor life decisions. Follow my heart. Find myself through all this meandering. The problem has always been my uncontainable curiosity.
Anyway, before I further trail off my point, no, what I had with Nik wasn't some kind of epic. Because it was better because it was real in all senses of the word. When I look back, those moments we had, we shared seem so utterly fleeting and ephemeral....like it wasn't even meant to last. And you know, it's strange because when I was with him, his arm around my waist and me leaning onto his chest, watching a movie or something...I have never wanted more badly for a moment to last forever. For us to exist, happy in that little infinity. But Time, the ever-surging river she is, never stops and once again, the moment's over and I'm alone and he's not here anymore.
I guess, suffice to say, I suffer from the most lame preoccupation: I'm really not over him. And so I miss him and more than periodically reminded of him all too often and it fills me with this deep kind of sadness that I feel like these feelings I had for him are so deeply entrenched that even I, in all my logical rationale - of how unsuited we were for each other - cannot climb out of. But yet all the same I know that these feelings are not particularly profound, I just mostly miss his familiarity the most, if anything.
I wish life were more simple. And I didn't contradict myself a thousand times a day....as I do.
Or even just decisions like "I'm going to move on" were met with instant resolution. But it's not because life is messy and it's complicated and feelings throw everything into disarray and I'm utterly confused again.
I miss him. I miss his soft brown hair. The familiar bridge of his nose. His eyes. His laugh.
And I can't help but wonder, what happened?
Saturday, January 11, 2014
January 13th: Discovering Myself
Sometimes I feel like I am all these completely contradictory things at the same time. Lately, I have been forgetting words. And it worries me, it does. Who wouldn't be worried if they were forgetting words? But then again, I was always obsessed with that. I realised recently, my stream of consciousness sometimes feels totally the contrary of linear. It is tangential and it jumps back and forth and I am reminded of things suddenly in the midst of other things pretty much all the time.
Last year (it still feels weird to say, finally saying goodbye forever to 2013), was a year quite unlike any other in my entire life. Firstly, I completed my first year of uni. That was....an immense different experience to the entirety of my education experience to date. It challenged me to change and grow in many more ways that I had initially anticipated, definitely. I didn't write and blog here much not for lack of things happening but rather it felt like too many things were happening consecutively, one after the other. At the beginning of the year I had aspired to step outside my comfort zone. To go where I have never been and to do what I have never done before. And I did do those things. And I experienced failures and successes and circumstances that challenged me and always reminded me of that quotation "Child, child, do you not see? Sometimes life calls you to be more than what you are". This whole idea of "being more than what you are" is so poignantly beautiful. Like reaching higher than the highest peak. To be more than ourselves, to be more than our natural capacities because that is humanity; always climbing higher than we can reach and going where no one has gone before.
The year came and went in a series of firsts. Little steps that I hoped would lead to this forever ambiguous notion of discovering myself. Sometimes I find it difficult, trying to reconcile with who I am - this girl who is obsessive over personality psychology theory, whose words hang and drip with euphemisms and discretion and never being quite to the point, in simple words tremendously cautious and dull....to just wanting to experience all the vivid colours of emotion that colour the human experience of life that I have heard so much about and lived vicariously through literature. To put it succinctly (as I am rarely), I was (and perhaps still am) simply curious about everything. About how it would to feel to make out with a guy at bar. How it would feel to live totally....vivaciously and brightly, like a shooting star, burning brightly and explosively descend like there is no tomorrow. For me, I confess there was never ever an in-between. I am a person of extremities. It's either soaring success or devastating failure. Is that so wrong to be? Unfortunately, this has not done wonders for my academic record last year because last year, I believe I had fallen so short of my standards and my expectations, than I have ever done before. I scraped it, simply. Have I always been so insufficiently committed? So I reached perhaps one of my lowest points in life last year, in these moments that seemed to recursively happen again and again and I felt this immense lack of purpose and disappointment in myself. Academic failure coupled with the inherent adversities of simply transition, new-found levels of independence and responsibility I had never been charged with before was....to put simply, overwhelming. Transition as in moving to Sydney, living on my own basically, having minimal funds and juggling uni work and many nights waitressing shifts definitely threw me off balance more than I had ever anticipated. I guess it was mostly fuelled by a very large sense of that feeling of....invincibility so common in people my age. But yes, overloading myself again is not a mistake I intend to repeat this year. And as always Aang's words to Korra always struck out to me "When we hit our lowest point, we are open to the greatest change". Which is definitely very true for me as I feel like I'm so different from the girl I was that graduated high school in a day that feels both like yesterday and worlds away. I only hope it has been for the better.
Yesterday, I saw the screen adaption of The Book Thief with Luke."If your eyes could speak, what would they say?" is a line I think is so, so powerfully resonant from it. I loved every bit of it. Even though they cut out a few parts, as they always invariably tend to do with these movie adaptions, the film was beautiful in all it's tragicness. And of course they captured the sadness particularly well. Or as Luke so succinctly put it as the end credits rolled in "Yup, that was about just as sad as I remember it" haha. Another quotation that struck out to me was what Death was saying near the end that I thought was particularly profound and beautiful about how he witnessed humanity at its most beautiful and at its most ugly and he wondered how they could be the same.
Anyway, I'm off for work soon! I will do my best to blog more this year because I think it is good for me to write out my incoherent thoughts out sometimes. While my writing is still in-cohesive it helps, somehow.
Last year (it still feels weird to say, finally saying goodbye forever to 2013), was a year quite unlike any other in my entire life. Firstly, I completed my first year of uni. That was....an immense different experience to the entirety of my education experience to date. It challenged me to change and grow in many more ways that I had initially anticipated, definitely. I didn't write and blog here much not for lack of things happening but rather it felt like too many things were happening consecutively, one after the other. At the beginning of the year I had aspired to step outside my comfort zone. To go where I have never been and to do what I have never done before. And I did do those things. And I experienced failures and successes and circumstances that challenged me and always reminded me of that quotation "Child, child, do you not see? Sometimes life calls you to be more than what you are". This whole idea of "being more than what you are" is so poignantly beautiful. Like reaching higher than the highest peak. To be more than ourselves, to be more than our natural capacities because that is humanity; always climbing higher than we can reach and going where no one has gone before.
The year came and went in a series of firsts. Little steps that I hoped would lead to this forever ambiguous notion of discovering myself. Sometimes I find it difficult, trying to reconcile with who I am - this girl who is obsessive over personality psychology theory, whose words hang and drip with euphemisms and discretion and never being quite to the point, in simple words tremendously cautious and dull....to just wanting to experience all the vivid colours of emotion that colour the human experience of life that I have heard so much about and lived vicariously through literature. To put it succinctly (as I am rarely), I was (and perhaps still am) simply curious about everything. About how it would to feel to make out with a guy at bar. How it would feel to live totally....vivaciously and brightly, like a shooting star, burning brightly and explosively descend like there is no tomorrow. For me, I confess there was never ever an in-between. I am a person of extremities. It's either soaring success or devastating failure. Is that so wrong to be? Unfortunately, this has not done wonders for my academic record last year because last year, I believe I had fallen so short of my standards and my expectations, than I have ever done before. I scraped it, simply. Have I always been so insufficiently committed? So I reached perhaps one of my lowest points in life last year, in these moments that seemed to recursively happen again and again and I felt this immense lack of purpose and disappointment in myself. Academic failure coupled with the inherent adversities of simply transition, new-found levels of independence and responsibility I had never been charged with before was....to put simply, overwhelming. Transition as in moving to Sydney, living on my own basically, having minimal funds and juggling uni work and many nights waitressing shifts definitely threw me off balance more than I had ever anticipated. I guess it was mostly fuelled by a very large sense of that feeling of....invincibility so common in people my age. But yes, overloading myself again is not a mistake I intend to repeat this year. And as always Aang's words to Korra always struck out to me "When we hit our lowest point, we are open to the greatest change". Which is definitely very true for me as I feel like I'm so different from the girl I was that graduated high school in a day that feels both like yesterday and worlds away. I only hope it has been for the better.
Yesterday, I saw the screen adaption of The Book Thief with Luke."If your eyes could speak, what would they say?" is a line I think is so, so powerfully resonant from it. I loved every bit of it. Even though they cut out a few parts, as they always invariably tend to do with these movie adaptions, the film was beautiful in all it's tragicness. And of course they captured the sadness particularly well. Or as Luke so succinctly put it as the end credits rolled in "Yup, that was about just as sad as I remember it" haha. Another quotation that struck out to me was what Death was saying near the end that I thought was particularly profound and beautiful about how he witnessed humanity at its most beautiful and at its most ugly and he wondered how they could be the same.
Anyway, I'm off for work soon! I will do my best to blog more this year because I think it is good for me to write out my incoherent thoughts out sometimes. While my writing is still in-cohesive it helps, somehow.
Thursday, May 2, 2013
May 3rd : YOLO
So, haven't posted in a while! I've been busy with uni and stuff...T_T#
It's been stressful but I've been learning a lot which is cool but yeah, it's stressful haha..
Some new things:
Even though barely anyone reads my blog either hahaha I'm going to give a shoutout to her blog @ http://kanykeyiscool.blogspot.com.au/
She's so cool.
Haha.
I can never be quite as gangster as her...
I hope this makes up for my lack of posting...lol not!!
Stay tuned for more updates yay!
Also, this is such a cute song just released by Parachute~! ♥ Ah, to be young and in love lol :'3
It's been stressful but I've been learning a lot which is cool but yeah, it's stressful haha..
Some new things:
- I exercise a lot now... I exercise way more than I did in high school with my combined degree and the size of USYD Camperdown / Darlington campus - this is what it really means to do a double degree....I have classes on both sides of the campus so I'm always walking walking walking T_T# But I shouldn't complain because at least I'm staying healthy I guess haha.
- I have acquired a new coffee addiction...this is the only thing that gets me through all this stuff I have to do for uni..why am I always so tired!! Blah
- I've discovered a new found love for wearing skirts....everyday!! Recently I just can't stop wearing skirts/dresses anymore. I'm not sure if it's something to do with the fact that I have to carry a backpack now and it's the only thing that keeps my outfits at least semi-cutesy feminine.
Even though barely anyone reads my blog either hahaha I'm going to give a shoutout to her blog @ http://kanykeyiscool.blogspot.com.au/
She's so cool.
Haha.
I can never be quite as gangster as her...
I hope this makes up for my lack of posting...lol not!!
Stay tuned for more updates yay!
Also, this is such a cute song just released by Parachute~! ♥ Ah, to be young and in love lol :'3
Monday, April 1, 2013
April 2nd: Everytime
This guy's voice. Seriously. It's like heart-melting (o>ω<o)
I apologize if I've been staring I can hardly look away.
There's something I have found worth sharing, something I've wanted to say.
My intention I should mention simply was to keep this to myself.
In spite of plans to hide love, it was something I couldn't help.
Because every time our eyes, they meet I lose my breath I find a beat
inside my chest forget the rest just know I'll never love you less.
Oh I'll never let you go oh oh oh oh ohhh oh oh oh.
I try hard to take it easy. I progress too fast, or so they say.
I've found the more I try the harder it becomes to stay away.
Did you have a clue
the slightest touch from you
does the trick just to taste your lips will do.
It really don't take much
when our hands touch
my heart sits still against my will for once.
April 1st: Doctor's Who Back!
Or rather, it came back yesterday, at about 9am for those of us here in GMT 11+, but never mind that! :)
Not going to lie, despite the fact that so much has been going on recently in the world of uni life etc. Doctor Who coming back, with the very lovely Jenna-Louise Coleman as the brand new companion, is is totally the most exciting, bubbly-making, fangirling post-worthy event in a while!
Disclaimer: There may be spoilers from this point onwards.
Suffice to say, 'The Bells of St John' was an awesome come back episode to continue Series 7 of Doctor Who complete with the typical Whovian madness - monk tech support in a cave in 1207, inexperienced plane-flying, twitter jokes, snogging booths, anti-gravity motor bikes and mysterious alien consciences living in Wi-Fi - and totally worth all the hype that always leads up to every Doctor Who return.
Still frustrating as to the unanswered question of Oswald's identity as the "woman twice dead" made particularly MORE cryptic by Clara's Wi-Fi password "RYCBAR123" = "Run you clever boy and remember" blaah! So many theories!
And as every good, semi-review/reaction post has -- my favourite quotes from this episode! :3
Clara: What is that box, anyway? Why have you got a box? Is it like a snogging booth? The Doctor: A what? Clara: Is that what you do? You bring a booth? There’s such a thing as too keen.
The Doctor: I’m the Doctor, I’m an alien from outer space, I’m a thousand years old, I’ve got two hearts and I can’t fly a plane! Can you?
The Doctor: Right. Don’t be a monk. Monks are not cool!
Not going to lie, despite the fact that so much has been going on recently in the world of uni life etc. Doctor Who coming back, with the very lovely Jenna-Louise Coleman as the brand new companion, is is totally the most exciting, bubbly-making, fangirling post-worthy event in a while!
Disclaimer: There may be spoilers from this point onwards.
Suffice to say, 'The Bells of St John' was an awesome come back episode to continue Series 7 of Doctor Who complete with the typical Whovian madness - monk tech support in a cave in 1207, inexperienced plane-flying, twitter jokes, snogging booths, anti-gravity motor bikes and mysterious alien consciences living in Wi-Fi - and totally worth all the hype that always leads up to every Doctor Who return.
This episode, especially when the Doctor and Clara ride through London on his motorbike, inexplicably reminded me of a similar scene with Billie Piper and David Tenant in 'The Idiot's Lantern' in all their vintage fabulousness <3
Still frustrating as to the unanswered question of Oswald's identity as the "woman twice dead" made particularly MORE cryptic by Clara's Wi-Fi password "RYCBAR123" = "Run you clever boy and remember" blaah! So many theories!
And as every good, semi-review/reaction post has -- my favourite quotes from this episode! :3
Clara: What is that box, anyway? Why have you got a box? Is it like a snogging booth? The Doctor: A what? Clara: Is that what you do? You bring a booth? There’s such a thing as too keen.
The Doctor: I’m the Doctor, I’m an alien from outer space, I’m a thousand years old, I’ve got two hearts and I can’t fly a plane! Can you?
The Doctor: Right. Don’t be a monk. Monks are not cool!
Wednesday, February 6, 2013
February 7th: The Aftermath
Writing the title of this post feels dramatic. Sounds dramatic. In reality it is a lot less dramatic than it sounds. Rather, it's kind of surreal-feeling. A lot less stress. A lot of doing not much. Which I guess is basically what constitutes the summer holiday. Except this holiday has been a lot longer than any other holiday I've had in my life. It's 3 months long and I experienced so many firsts since the HSC finished on the last day, I don't even remember what day of the week it was anymore, on the 6th November and we all tumbled out of the L3 and L4 block relieved, excited, happy that we had finally completed, for all of us, our last HSC exam - Chemistry. For me, it was a mixture of both relief and an distinct sense of failure, but whatever haha, I left that exam at least semi-relieved that it was finally, finally, finally all over. While doing the HSC I had heard, inevitably, the analogy of it being like a long distance run, an endurance event and you must run it to the end and not stumble and fall and not get back up again like some have done. So when we all finished that exam we definitely all felt that entirely relieving sense of a large weight being lifted off our shoulders. For me, it was always the never-ending avalanche of things we had to remember (that I didn't remember completely), to do, to worry about always hovering over me. Our whole futures at certain points did feel like they hung over our shoulders. But even then when we were yet to know our results, our futures- we were relieved all the same time. It was finally over.
The next day was my 18th birthday. That day kind of felt also immensely surreal in all its finality. There was the whole "becoming an adult" thing and then there was the fact that I was finally graduated from high school that had at certain points, felt like it would never end. That day I had lunch with Allywa, Mim, KT and Alex and Brad and Ben too I think. That night I had small dinner party with my family.
The next day we left for Melbourne for schoolies and had a really nice 4 days shopping and eating out a bit and going to the beach etc. Mim and KT even made a cake for me and threw a mini surprise birthday party which was really nice. No one's ever done that for me before. And Allywa was extremely good at distracting me to leave to go the "bank" as she called it.
After we got from Melbourne there were a few days in between and then we had our Formal, an event that seemed to go by really quickly for something that we had anticipated all year. Despite its finality, it was fun. Afterwards we headed to the afterparty with Mim and Allywa. KT went to Louise's. That was interesting.
After the formal I started working at the sushi restaurant and then before I knew it 2 weeks had passed and I left for Japan. That was kind of amazing. Perhaps one of the most amazing trips I've ever been on in my life. But presently I don't think I can adequately express in words how amazing and life-changing that was so I will continue on.
My time in Japan passed quickly and before I knew it I was with Maggie at Sydney airport customs carting our luggage through the queue barrier, already saying goodbye to all the people we had met.
Afterwards I went back to work quite a lot until the 29th December when we left for Vietnam. In Vietnam we mostly just stayed in Saigon. On the 8th-12th we went to Hong Kong and Macau and then back to Vietnam where we went to Mui Ne for 2 days and then back to Saigon. On the final day we left I was kind of relieved to go back to Australia. I've heard it said that the return trip back is never the same. Things change. People change. Move on. Which really makes sense to me in terms of how different my trip to Vietnam was this time. The thing I think I will the most however about Vietnam is my Aunty's cooking, the fresh fruit and Uncle Liet. I got to spend more time with him in Vietnam and when it was time to say goodbye it felt kind of final and tragic and fleeting and poignant and sad. Like all goodbyes feel.
Now perhaps the most important detail I left out of this entire Aftermath post is really what my past self would be wondering if they were reading this post haha. How'd did I go? I passed, to my soaring relief, after accessing my ATAR results on the 16th December at 8:45 am.
It was a bit of another wait between finding out my ATAR results to university offers on UAC but finally it came. I received an offer to study at USYD to study a combined degree of Engineering/Arts like I had aspired to. But even now, in all finality of being an aftermath, I know its not really. Life isn't like that. I've heard it said that the clock doesn't stop ticking or slow down. Sometimes you just don't hear it. It's like that. It feels like its an ending but really, I feel as if it's an exciting year and exciting times ahead.
Nostalgic photo from graduation with Mim, Ally-wa and KT! Feels like forever ago (>.<)
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| My 18th birthday family dinner with my mum and nephew, he kept moving so we couldn't get a still shot haha |
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| Ally-wa, KT and me in front of Flinder's Station in Melbourne. TOURIST PHOTO, LOL. :) |
After we got from Melbourne there were a few days in between and then we had our Formal, an event that seemed to go by really quickly for something that we had anticipated all year. Despite its finality, it was fun. Afterwards we headed to the afterparty with Mim and Allywa. KT went to Louise's. That was interesting.
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| Seeing snow for the first time in Miyagi Prefecture with my Rachael, my awesome roomie from NZ ♡ |
My time in Japan passed quickly and before I knew it I was with Maggie at Sydney airport customs carting our luggage through the queue barrier, already saying goodbye to all the people we had met.
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| Purikura with Maggie in Tokyo! x3 Onsen buddies for life, haha. |
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| In front of the Bruce Lee statue in HK with mum! |
Afterwards I went back to work quite a lot until the 29th December when we left for Vietnam. In Vietnam we mostly just stayed in Saigon. On the 8th-12th we went to Hong Kong and Macau and then back to Vietnam where we went to Mui Ne for 2 days and then back to Saigon. On the final day we left I was kind of relieved to go back to Australia. I've heard it said that the return trip back is never the same. Things change. People change. Move on. Which really makes sense to me in terms of how different my trip to Vietnam was this time. The thing I think I will the most however about Vietnam is my Aunty's cooking, the fresh fruit and Uncle Liet. I got to spend more time with him in Vietnam and when it was time to say goodbye it felt kind of final and tragic and fleeting and poignant and sad. Like all goodbyes feel.
Now perhaps the most important detail I left out of this entire Aftermath post is really what my past self would be wondering if they were reading this post haha. How'd did I go? I passed, to my soaring relief, after accessing my ATAR results on the 16th December at 8:45 am.It was a bit of another wait between finding out my ATAR results to university offers on UAC but finally it came. I received an offer to study at USYD to study a combined degree of Engineering/Arts like I had aspired to. But even now, in all finality of being an aftermath, I know its not really. Life isn't like that. I've heard it said that the clock doesn't stop ticking or slow down. Sometimes you just don't hear it. It's like that. It feels like its an ending but really, I feel as if it's an exciting year and exciting times ahead.
Nostalgic photo from graduation with Mim, Ally-wa and KT! Feels like forever ago (>.<)
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